A tongue in cheek posting about Nottingham can be found in the link below. The author, obviously a student, quotes his Media Studies Teacher as saying “Nottingham – Shottingham to be precise”
He then goes on to say that
“Recent changes in local government policy have had a dramatic effect on the city’s population. Generations of deprivation, poor educational achievement, low expectations, poor healthcare, guncrime, poverty, injustice, decades of underfunding, urban decay, social eugenics, bad planning and sheer bloody stupidity within the City’s council of Warlocks have all been righted throughout Nottinghamshite, with the introduction of PR men to ensure any bad publicity is removed or challenged post haste. Costing almost half a million pounds PA, these public propaganda machines are still cheaper than actually fixing the problems faced by Europe’s biggest Utopia, and a pittance when compared to the ‘costs’ of certain local councillors.”
I have some sympathy with this view. Although it is true that there are great things about Nottingham, our City Council’s response to any criticism of the City appears to be a default “its not as bad as other cities of the same size” or “its not as bad as the media make out”.
Even if this is true it is about time the City Council concentrated on sorting out the problems there are. This is what will really change people’s views about the City. The blogger then goes on to say
“Nottingham is a wonderful city, which attracts a lot of attention from a lot of different people:
- Chavs who wish they were gangsters
- Drug Dealers
- Labour supporters
- Prostitues and “pimps”
- The Sheriff of Nottingham
- Twatty students from minor English private schools.
- Web-footed football fans from the Championship underbelly.
- Demons that crawled out of the black hole, aka Goths.”
And he describes the Notts Anthem as
“The city of Notts, Notts, Notts. The city of Glocks, Glocks, Glocks. Every night i hear Gun shots, shots, shots,; But thats what its like when your living in Notts.”
~ Game Cartel on Nottingham
He then outlines some of the less desirable places in Nottingham.
1. “Carlton Square – Has a Bargain Booze who ignore all predudices (mainly age).
2. Nottingham City Centre (By night) – Problems include, getting drunk, having someone a nice helping of Rohypnol into your beverage, being shot, being mugged, being chased by people, being arrested for nothing (see **), being raped and, most likely, being shot. Another common problem faced by people (and tourists alike) when out on the town in Nottingham is the famous “I’m not druggie!”-man, this fellow is old crumbie tramp who proclaims that he is in fact NOT a drug addict, and he proves this by lifting his sleeves 4 inches up for half of a second. He demands money and trys to flog you a “Bigger Shoe” while he’s at it…..”When in Rome do as the Romans do…” hit im in the face.
3. Also watch out for the notable town centre rambler “Wycliff” who offers to sing you a song for money. Rumour has it he went out with Danni Minogue and got far too much crack off her. He clearly has smoked too much crack but has a lovely voice. Ask him to sing you a song about crack and Danni, its one of his best.
4. Another familiar face in Nottingham, is Ozzy the tramp with the Australian accent. He is a well travelled man, and is always asking for money to fund a fictional train ride to London, his bus trip to Derby, or his flight to Ukraine.
To read more follow the link below.